1st Night Out.

So its Wednesday night. The best night out in many a diary. Im at my Mums house and its dinner time. I take the pizza, say thank you and pretend as usual as though there is nothing to worry about. A minute out the door i change my mind and head, not for home, but for Windsor Street. Now if you know this infamous road in Dundee, or live there, you will know about the Gill Flat. It has become something of a Mecca in the sacred practice of skite. 

On the way I'm making important discoveries. The price of Tennants by the litre and and the cheapest kebab for dinner. I arrive at the door and there are some very confused friends who do not seem to understand why im back home. Well i am and i want to go skiting, I reply. To an immediate roar. Its a Wednesday so Im sure there will be some sort of intoxication going on. 

And sure enough almost everybody and their Gran are going out tonight. Awesome. 

I cycle home and get changed, inviting someone else so i can get a lift as they drive past. Downing a Guinness and wacking back some Vodka I am ready. My mate arrives and up we head to Windsor. I stop by the usual corner shop and instead of Tennants, pick up a keg of Heineken. Coming out of the shop i do not see my mates car. And i walk up to another car and open the door. Its at this point i get excited. Tonight is going to be messy.

In the Royal Mead Hall of Windsor i open the keg with some difficulty and get to work on it. It contains 5 Litres. Two thurds and an Irish accent later, its time to leave. Stumbling down the stairs i realise that because of a lot of biking recently and a lapse in my drinking this has hit me like a train. Most of the group are staggering down the street. But i'm positively gone.  I take to smashing bins, signs and bus schedules to the ground. They deserve it. Damm it, they are in the way. Knocking over one too many bins, the bouncer of a pub sees me. Well im never going to get in now am i? I try briefly. Saying that i promise to believe sir. He shakes the dick on his head and i call him some obscenities. Deciding that i must get to the nightclub i run, jump and scale a straight line of car parks, walls and neds all the way there. I muster an amazing amount of energy and sober up. 

IM IN!!! YEAH. Energy now lacking i pay the cover and go get myself a Vodka Redbull. Now im jumping. Bumping into friends i get over zealous with seeing them again for the first time in ages. (I can only write this next bit with some help from my friends). We buy each other shots and PoofJuice. Im drinking like a sink for about 2 hours. The top medic in first year climbs onto my shoulders and we run around on the dance floor. Being removed from the dance floor, I sit down on the seats in the corner with some of my buddies Spilling beer on myself deliberately, my friends believe its time to go home. I say fuck off and go get another drink. 

Waking up in the morning i wonder what the hell happened last night. I have forgotten almost everything. Including my jacket. SHIT! Well i do remember i have a interview for a job working as an assistant in a Estate Agents in Newport. I have to wear a suit. Crap. Visiting the bathroom i see that my eyes are bloodshot and i look like a crack addict. 

At 2pm I am at the interview, eyes still red and still feeling shit. He asks me to tell him about myself. I wonder about giving him this URL.  

I get the job. Somehow.